Emuers,
As I sit here by my computer in my classroom that serves as a dungeon on most Sundays trapping me in all day as I simply try to get caught up and be ready for 150 kids on Monday morning, I just watched the thermometer hit 70. I have a window....so I can tell it looks nice. Is Reagan enjoying the nice weather?? Well....she has dropped 7 pounds in 3 days battling a nasty flu that appears to have chased her 4 colds in 3 weeks off. Needless to say, with her being sick and missing her first baby shower and me being at school, we are praying for more nice weather next weekend. But for now...I shall take a break from my work and tell you how 10 words (probably more) have entered my vocabulary since we learned of our baby on the way and since we have started our birthing classes....
Word 10) "Cell phone". Yeah....that vow to never own one ended pretty quickly once Reagan got pregnant. I am a pro already as I have actually talked to Reagan on her cell phone from a different floor of the house instead of simply yelling, or God forbid, walk to her. With 8 weeks left to go, I have been warned to keep it at max charge, max vibrate (nice, actually), and close to me at all times.
WORD 9) "Kick counts". As a man with a queasy stomach, I am glad I have yet to see our little baby streatch and squirm inside of Reagan's stomach. I have only seen one kick so far. For some odd reason, he stops kicking everytime I look. He's already good at acting like he is not doing anything wrong when I look his way!
WORD 8) "The Look". I have seen it multiple times by Reagan in the past 10 years, but apparently on "Labor Day", this look will morph into the scariest look any man has ever seen. I think my Dad and I were close to seeing this as we hailed a taxi on Reagan and my wedding night, but I have a feeling Reagan will take it to the next level. I will be on my best behavior at the hospital....I have all my coupons for labor already set up.
WORD 7) "Breast Pump". If men thought women went through hell during labor, you should see this contraption! During the SuperBowl I attempted to hook each pump (we have a double breast pump) to two cans of beer and pump the beer into my mouth. Didn't work, but I have not given up. This thing has to have other uses besides its intended purpose. Just as long as my briefcase and the pump's case never get switched on my way to school....
WORD 6) "Birthing Ball". Imagine a kickball, only 10 times larger. The women at our class knew what they were, but the men, you could see what we were thinking. Eight of those balls and the women on a break....the best dodge ball game ever. Now everytime I see someone sitting on one, I think of either dodgeball or kicking it out from under them. Problematic for me, b/c usually its a pregnant woman on there and thinking that is just WRONG!
WORD 5) "Birth Canal". Apparently nothing to with or nothing like the Panama Canal. All that history in school and it doesn't even help. Here's what I know....its dark, actually fairly short, and extremely small in comparison with the baby. Our baby, at last check, was lined up to go out some other canal and had his rear facing the birth canal. No one ever said our baby was going to be the brightest!
WORD 4) "Labor". There are actually stages to labor.I don't care what they called them, but I call them Panic, Drive extremely fast stage, 12 hours of "Is there anything I can do?", grunt/scream/kill husband stage with any blunt OR sharp object within reach, and finally holding baby stage or smelling salts stage depending on whether its Reagan or me you are talking about. At some point...forgiveness stage will arrive, but I will not rush that one.
WORD 3) "Placenta". Apparently, even though we aren't having twins, this guy gets delivered to. Saw it on a video at last week's class. When I woke up, with smelling salts again, I was told it was all a dream and I didn't have to worry. The image of it still haunts me at night....who knows, maybe with Reagan, there won't be any blood.
WORD 2) "Drugs". The very same thing I preach to my students to NEVER use....I will say "yes" to during labor. If Reagan wants some, she can have some too. Since Reagan can start IVs, I'm going to see if she can put the IV in me from time to time when staff is not looking. Seriously....if some drug can help me imagine the placenta is a kitten and Reagan's screams are someone screaming that I won $5 gift cards at KFC, I will be much better off. Reagan might be too!
WORD 1) "Partner". Apparently this labor thing is alot like Ping Pong. We are a team, we are partners. I have a feeling it will be like most times I played Partner Ping Pong....watch two people hit back and forth to each other and say "Wow...nice job" every once in awhile, and occaisonally get hit in the eye. My guess is at some point I will be told to be a "silent partner". If I pass out, that will take care of itself.
With 8 weeks to go...we are excited for this "lifechange". God has blessed us tremendously. I have learned alot, but have a feeling the real education will START in 8 weeks. Should be a wild ride....whether I am awake or not! Enjoy the weather!
Love&Prayers,
Ben
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