Dear subscribers,
When approached by a faculty member (who is considered cool among the faculty!!) if I would like to join his weight loss pool shortly after Christmas, I jumped at the chance to do something with the "in-faculty" and have a chance at being cool myself. When he mentioned I could win a lot of cash, I wiped the drool already dripping down my double-chin and said you bet. His reply...OK, give me $20 and let's go weigh in. Surprisingly, handing $20 of my hard earned pay (one week's salary after taxes, union dues, IPERS, and paying for my own science experiement supplies) turned out to be the painless portion of this process. Note to self: Do not weigh in after gaining 15 pounds in the last 6 years b/c you were active in both high school and college, then move to an unfamiliar town in which you know nobody, start your first job, live by yourself, work night and day teaching hormonal freshmen, attend 7 Christmas dinners and eat 2 desserts at all of them, drink your lunch and supper on New Years and then roll out to school to weigh in for a contest.
The contest is won if you lose 10% of your original weight. No problem...15-17 pounds right? Not if you tip the scales at 197.5!!! Yep, that's right, a nice hefty gain of about 15 pounds since August (I think 10 of them came from Dec. 22nd-Jan 2nd). That meant that I now had to lose 20 pounds in 9 weeks. But with money being involved, this was not a weight-loss plan this was making good on an investment!
First I started exercising on the Nordic Trac I got Reagan for Christmas. Given my coordination was a genectic gift from both my Dad and my Mom, riding this Nordic Trac was like riding a professional bull....if I could stay on for 8 seconds, I considered myself a champion. Well, it took three days and two trips to the ER to check some breaks and cuts in my tissues and bones, but I did finally manage to get my arms and legs to coordinate their movements with the grace of a elepant on a tricycle. Actually, given my weight, the resemblance to that reference was uncanny. As for my diet, no more Hy-Vee fake Oreo cookies, even if they were on sale and it was double-coupon day. The potato chips stayed, the carrot rations were doubled. The pizza stayed, the pop vanished. After 4 days, I weighed 197!! Great start, fat-ass. But then it happened. I worked out over the weekend and kept up my diet, and on Monday, I weighed in at 187 and the faculty suddenly made me the targeted one. Worse yet, I hit 183 by Friday. Down 14 pounds in the first 10 days....I was a shoe-in! Well, with the Christmas fat gone, the rest was tough to lose. With just two weeks to go before Spring Break (weigh-in time), I was still 2 pounds too heavy. Never fear, remembering my investment, I stepped up the workouts and subjected myself to more Wednesday night basketball and by weigh-in time, I was able to eat a doughnut as I weighed in at 174, a drop of 23.5 pounds. For my nine weeks of work, I received $35, a net profit of $15. Sadly, that was better than 7 of my stocks and both my mutual funds during that period. I would like to say that I spent that hard earned cash on a nice juicy steak and a pitcher of beer, but instead I entered that new $15 in three $5 NCAA pools and as I write this, I have officially pissed (sorry Mom) that profit right down a drain named Duke.
But never fear....there is a silver lining to all this story. Nearing the end of my 9-weeks of fitness hell, the faculty all went through a health screening. How did our Fluffy elephant turned Richard Simmons guru turn out? I got a doctor's note citing my astronomically high cholesterol and was told that I have about 10% too much body fat. Again, never fear, I burned 19.2 calories (according to my fat burning book that my health consultant guy gave me) kicking his ass for 5 minutes!
Well, that's it. I have 43 more days of school, 6 hours of sleep to get, and 14 on-sale Hy-Vee cookies to eat before bed. Good night and good day to all.
Love&Prayers,
Ben
PS: I survived my bachelor party, didn't throw up, and still weigh 177 pounds two weeks after the contest ended!
When approached by a faculty member (who is considered cool among the faculty!!) if I would like to join his weight loss pool shortly after Christmas, I jumped at the chance to do something with the "in-faculty" and have a chance at being cool myself. When he mentioned I could win a lot of cash, I wiped the drool already dripping down my double-chin and said you bet. His reply...OK, give me $20 and let's go weigh in. Surprisingly, handing $20 of my hard earned pay (one week's salary after taxes, union dues, IPERS, and paying for my own science experiement supplies) turned out to be the painless portion of this process. Note to self: Do not weigh in after gaining 15 pounds in the last 6 years b/c you were active in both high school and college, then move to an unfamiliar town in which you know nobody, start your first job, live by yourself, work night and day teaching hormonal freshmen, attend 7 Christmas dinners and eat 2 desserts at all of them, drink your lunch and supper on New Years and then roll out to school to weigh in for a contest.
The contest is won if you lose 10% of your original weight. No problem...15-17 pounds right? Not if you tip the scales at 197.5!!! Yep, that's right, a nice hefty gain of about 15 pounds since August (I think 10 of them came from Dec. 22nd-Jan 2nd). That meant that I now had to lose 20 pounds in 9 weeks. But with money being involved, this was not a weight-loss plan this was making good on an investment!
First I started exercising on the Nordic Trac I got Reagan for Christmas. Given my coordination was a genectic gift from both my Dad and my Mom, riding this Nordic Trac was like riding a professional bull....if I could stay on for 8 seconds, I considered myself a champion. Well, it took three days and two trips to the ER to check some breaks and cuts in my tissues and bones, but I did finally manage to get my arms and legs to coordinate their movements with the grace of a elepant on a tricycle. Actually, given my weight, the resemblance to that reference was uncanny. As for my diet, no more Hy-Vee fake Oreo cookies, even if they were on sale and it was double-coupon day. The potato chips stayed, the carrot rations were doubled. The pizza stayed, the pop vanished. After 4 days, I weighed 197!! Great start, fat-ass. But then it happened. I worked out over the weekend and kept up my diet, and on Monday, I weighed in at 187 and the faculty suddenly made me the targeted one. Worse yet, I hit 183 by Friday. Down 14 pounds in the first 10 days....I was a shoe-in! Well, with the Christmas fat gone, the rest was tough to lose. With just two weeks to go before Spring Break (weigh-in time), I was still 2 pounds too heavy. Never fear, remembering my investment, I stepped up the workouts and subjected myself to more Wednesday night basketball and by weigh-in time, I was able to eat a doughnut as I weighed in at 174, a drop of 23.5 pounds. For my nine weeks of work, I received $35, a net profit of $15. Sadly, that was better than 7 of my stocks and both my mutual funds during that period. I would like to say that I spent that hard earned cash on a nice juicy steak and a pitcher of beer, but instead I entered that new $15 in three $5 NCAA pools and as I write this, I have officially pissed (sorry Mom) that profit right down a drain named Duke.
But never fear....there is a silver lining to all this story. Nearing the end of my 9-weeks of fitness hell, the faculty all went through a health screening. How did our Fluffy elephant turned Richard Simmons guru turn out? I got a doctor's note citing my astronomically high cholesterol and was told that I have about 10% too much body fat. Again, never fear, I burned 19.2 calories (according to my fat burning book that my health consultant guy gave me) kicking his ass for 5 minutes!
Well, that's it. I have 43 more days of school, 6 hours of sleep to get, and 14 on-sale Hy-Vee cookies to eat before bed. Good night and good day to all.
Love&Prayers,
Ben
PS: I survived my bachelor party, didn't throw up, and still weigh 177 pounds two weeks after the contest ended!
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