Memories, a Week of Memories

What a week huh? Here I thought the people of the world really only cared about the Barry family moving from their first home in Des Moines, Iowa to their new home out in the country, but then the week happened. From a continued crisis in Iran and the other country known as "Jon and Kate Plus a Divorce-ville" to crazy sports stories (College World Series, U.S. Open, Wimbleton, a near upset of the century with U.S. Soccer) to the celebrity deaths. And who are we kidding, our society was shocked more by the celebrity deaths than anything else this week. In fact, the Michael Jackson death was the first death to actually stop the Internet with facebook, cnn, Twitter, and several other sites actually grinding to a standstill due to an overload of people. A friend and I once challenged ourselves to think of 5 people in the world whose death would bring the world to a standstill and would cause mourning worldwide. World leaders/former leaders and old people were excluded. Michael Jackson was one of our five....and we were right! (Nelson Mandela, Muhammed Ali, Tiger Woods were others mentioned). And with any death, memories are what we turn to. I am at a unique age where I don't remember the Jackson 5, but I remember his 80s music and his effect on pop culture, TV, videos, dance, and music today. I also became an adult and understood the legal and moral issues he found himself caught up in, so my memories are mixed. But I have learned both through books and through life that our memories tend to be more positive than actual reality and those memories get even more positive with time (actually, counselors and investigators know this and consider this when evaluating patients/suspects). I have reflected a lot this week on memories and their importance due to 2 events, neither of them a "celebrity death".




The first, actually kind of is a celebrity death and one that was the lead story on cnn and espn.com before other celebrities took over. The tragic shooting death of Ed Thomas, a football coach, teacher, father, Grandfather, religious leader, community leader, etc., etc., etc. in the Applington-Parkersburg district in northern Iowa. He was killed in the school weightroom in front of 15-20 of his own players. The "suspect" is a former player and no motive is known. Considering his mental state and recent behavior (attempted to destroy a random home over the weekend with a bat and was talking gibberish), a motive will likely never be known. The only guess is that his recent stay in a hospital for a psych eval. likely triggered a memory and Ed Thomas took the brunt of that memory. It was likely even a positive memory. In fact, most only have positive memories of Coach Thomas. He put his heart and soul not only into coaching football, but also into being a teacher, a family man, etc., etc. He rallied the community nearly one year ago today after a tornado nearly wiped the town from the map. He put 4 players in the NFL. He was the 2005 NATIONAL High School Coach of the year voted by the NFL. But when you listened to his players and community members tell their memories, you knew Ed Thomas was special, more special than the accomplishments that can be listed on paper. It made me think about all the things we do in our life and all of our accomplishments and how what really matters is what people remember. With each celebrity death this week, I read about the celebrity, but what struck me was the memories mentioned and the emotion of those memories. So, what will people remember about me when I die? Hmmm....makes me think about what I do in my life.




A second event that triggered my reflections on memories is our move to the country which takes place in less than 12 hours now. This was our first house and the house we brought our children home to. Heck, even brought our cats (our other kids) home to! I am never emotional about houses, I just want out and into the next one, but this week made me start to re-think everything. We really do have a lot of memories in this house. So, since I like lists....here we go, my Top 10 memories of our house. RIP Barry house: June 2003-June 2009.




1. Bringing Jack home to our house, May 1st. Snowed on the way home. House was in mid-50s since we didn't turn on heat. Heck, it was 75 degrees when we left to give birth to him just 2 days earlier!
2. Bringing Abby home. Sorry, Abby, 2nd place. She came home in March to much better weather and a much pinker room. Actually, scratch that, my memory is failing. I forgot that Reagan didn't know she was a girl until born, only I knew she was a girl. So her room was pretty blank.
3. Wine-tasting Year 1. That was quite a night. Any night of novice wine-drinkers becoming moderate experts via google and a lot of tasting is a good night. One post-drinking injury and a golf ball thrown at a wall topped off the night.
4. Poker on the deck well into the morning. Ahhh...man-ly times. My first manly memory of the house and it only ranks #4, ouch.
5. The Flood of 2005. Jack was less than 2 weeks old and Reagan lifted a big screen TV nearly all by herself. 8 inches of rain in 4 days and a basement saved by a couple who decided to fight the flood all night long and all day long the next day. We saved the basement and all of our furniture and through some dirtwork and a new sump pump, we have been dry since.
6. Santa's visit in 2008. Surprisingly his first and last visit to our house here in Easter Lake. Every other year he found us at some other house. But this past year, he found Jack and Abby and their stockings. Seeing the look on their faces when they came down the stairs....hmm....makes me think this should be #1. I love Christmas.
7. Our cats when they were kittens. Now they just throw up and attempt to ruin the carpet before we move. But once upon a time they were little and would sleep on our shoulders, actually chase things, and destroy stuff with their claws. Now they are missing half of their claws and think dumping a water bowl is enough activity for a long day. Hmmm....kittens at our new place?
8. Back to School Bashes. The beauty of moving is new memories and more parties. I am glad Reagan lets me throw parties and sometimes even likes them. Also, staying on at Carlisle lets me throw more parties for the staffs that I love so much! Next staff party in 3 weeks and another one in August!!!
9. Building things. Okay, my memory is not good here, but I am pretty sure I didn't build much. But the people we hired did and they did good. I will miss our deck and basement the most, the two things we designed and helped to build....some. The new place has these things too, but not by our design. Just not the same....
10. Family and friends. We have had a lot of family and friends through our doors and the last of them will come tomorrow to help, but my memories throughout my life always involve family and friends and are almost always good ones. My guess is that family and friends will be a big part of the new house too!




Wow....that was quite a list. I will miss this ol' house, but I am excited for the change, the extra space, and yeah, the movie theater room! But like I said, all the events of this week got me to think about memories, both short and long term. What do I say to kids during the day that they will remember at the end of the day. What do I do during the school year or during my life that people will remember long into the future and after I die? Will people's memory of me be positive or negative? What if they were interviewed for TV about me? Hmmmm......




Take care all and have a great week. Make some memories and be a positive memory for someone else. Next time you hear from me, I will be a country-boy again.




Love&Prayers,
Ben





Three things to leave you with:


1. Speaking of memories....did you know it takes about 10 positive comments or actions to replace a negative one? Doug should know this as this is something Boys Town is very strict with when training their staff and how to work with kids. I try to remember this with the kids I teach. If I get after them once or do something negative, I really have to work hard to replace that memory with positive ones. Negative comments/actions can be very damaging....



2. As a way to remember Ed Thomas, I think ESPN 360 did it best with this video. Amazing 11 minute clip filmed after the tornado last year and all the way through the first football game. Titled "Sacred Acre": http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=3591008&categoryid=3060647



3. Other interesting discussion games to play with family or friends. List 5 events for the following:
1. 5 biggest world events in your lifetime (inventions or shifts in human nature don't count)
2. 5 biggest things to happen in your life (this includes everything...so the creation of the Internet/email could work here, but not for question #1)
3. 5 biggest events to affect you. (9-11 likely affected you, but the Cold War maybe not so much unless you think it did. It didn't to me due to being so young, but likely did my parents)
4. 5 biggest events of your life (this might be birth, marriage, something more personal. 9-11 could still be here if personal to you)

Fatherhood....it's Simple, Right?

Well, in short, no it's not simple. Not simple at all. I'm not just saying this because I am a "Summertime-Stay-At-Home Dad" that potty-trained my daughter and taught my son how to add and subtract in the first 3 weeks of summer. I am saying that because it really is hard and really does take a lot of work!

I learned how hard being a Dad was at a young age when I would wear myself out arguing with my own Dad and he always seemed to win. I was usually huffing and puffing and falling asleep exhausted from my antics and yelling and he would go on about his day. I thought I was working hard, so he must have outworked me. In fact, when growing up, I actually learned all the subjects of school from my own Dad (Tim Barry if you haven't figured this out yet). Let me explain....


Math: Dad had very good math skills. He gave us 3.2% raises to our allowances every year. This was in-line with inflation, never much more. That is how a good business, er, family is run. He also made sure we donated 10% to charity, 10% to church, 50% had to go in the bank, leaving us with basically nothing. And now all of us boys get made fun of for saving too much money. Well, we are only used to spending 30% of our paycheck! Lastly, Dad had us work on our own math skills by picking dandelions for a penny a dandelion top. A great science lesson about the spreading of weed seeds was unfortunately missed here, but we all new how to multiply by 1 to get loads of money, sometimes over a $1.

Social Studies: Well, more math was involved here. Hmmm...cross-curricular lesson...nice work Dad! Dad had us dribble up and down the highway (okay, not the best lesson or the safest, but hey, it was a different era) and keep track of our miles dribbled. Once we had dribbled 52.5 miles, we could go to Missouri Valley and back for dinner (26.25 miles away...more math!). Parents would pay! If we saved our miles, we could go to Omaha for dinner by cashing in our miles. Basically, my Dad was our first "Rewards" Credit card. Dad also taught up about the U.S. by taking us on many vacations, always driving there. Nothing better than telling people you drove to Maine, New Orleans, and California in your childhood and took a plane to Chicago. The difference was that Mom was in charge of the Chicago trip.

English/language: Wow, I could talk forever here. We learned a ton of swear words most kids didn't learn. Dad is the nicest guy I know, but when he gets mad, he really gets mad. He shouts every swear word ever created in the English language, most at the exact same time. Nearby priests would not say Dad sinned, they would more likely weep and pray as they would assume he was speaking in tounges. Us boys would usually just laugh until Dad made eye contact and then we would kick something and act angry too. My favorite swear words by Dad: "Mother Fussing Posibitchinay", "Son of a Rippo", "Sussapono bitchazz ahh", and a few others. It was quite interesting.

Spelling: No, we did not learn spelling from Dad. Actually, we learned how to not spell from Dad.

Science: We learned a lot about how technology works from Dad as he was determined to fix things on his own. This usually meant anything electrical or metallic came apart and all their pieces spread out. From here, it was really a crapshoot. Most times we learned how a phone works and how to call for help. Sometimes, we would help Dad put things back together. Our broken chainsaw became a pencil sharpener, our push mower became a loud child's toy, and our moped became a bicycle. Okay, so not everything got fixed like new, but nothing went to waste and we never told Dad that it didn't look right. Oh, I also learned about electricity when Dad got stuck by electricity to our dryer for 8 seconds (longest electrical attachment by human to in-home device without 911 call in Iowa history) and about the human body when my first childhood memory got etched into my young brain at age 4: Dad being pulled out by the Jaws of Life from an auger that he stepped into. Whenever I tell people I can't stand the site of blood or electricity, I remind myself that my first 2 childhood memories are the problem. As for learning about the birds and the bees, well, I won't even get into that. Those that I have told about Dad's teaching of this important lesson still can't believe the story....

Physical Education: Let's just say watching my Dad "pump iron" with the 5 pound bar and "25's" on each side of the bar along with his post-shower pushups and situps before alot of clothes got put on his body told me all I need to know about physical fitness. Sadly, these were more of my first childhood memories. And sadly, no, I don't exercise anymore.


So, was fatherhood hard for my Dad? Well, first of all, it is still going on and just as hard for him as he is now a Grandfather. But outside of getting his foot in a 1000-rotation per second auger, getting electrocuted until what hair he had on his head stood, breaking and fixing most technology we owned, Dad made it look pretty easy. See, Dad does the things a father should do: he listened whenever we needed him too, he attended every event we were in (not just sports, but music, 4-H, and presentations too), he loved our mother and helped her whenever she needed it, and he talked with us and taught up values and morals.

I was never sure if I would be a good father. There is no manual, you just train your whole life and then when you have your first child, you throw everything out the window and just do what you can and try your best. In fact, I studied counseling the past 3 years and now I have 2 months before I become a counselor. I know I will throw everything out the window and just try my best to be the best counselor I can be. The funny thing is that what I learned from my Dad and my own "fatherly" experiences, I will use as a counselor. They seem to be the same job! I have been trained as a counselor to listen, give gentle advice and guide, set boundaries for young people, use humor, be empathic, and advocate and support my students. Hmmm....Dad did all those things for me and I try to do all those things for my kids too. Suddenly, I realize my "new" job isn't so new at all, it's just being a Dad to alot more kids. But.....it will still be a hard job that will take hard work everyday to be a good Dad, er, counselor.

Happy Father's Day all!
Love&Prayers,
Ben

3 Things to leave you with:
1) Do you have a Smart Phone? I don't. But they are getting much cheaper. If you are a Dad and got a smart phone for your special day or simply a Dad that already has one, take a look at this TIME magazine site. The top 10 Smart Phone Apps. for Dads: http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1906008_1906001,00.html

2)If you aren't watching what is unfolding in Iran and how technology is helping the "revolution", you should be. I don't care if it doesn't interest you or its tough to watch, what is happening there affects nearly everything in our future...maybe even our present.

3) Watched Star Trek with my Dad this week. Very good movie. Oddly enough, it blended my Dad's Star Trek with my love of JJ Abrams (LOST, Fringe, Alias, Star Trek) and our generations together. And we both liked it! Next movie I will see?? It will be in our theater room in our new home in 8 days!

If you are reading this blog, the world did not end!

Last night my son came down and requested a private talk with Mommy, not Daddy. Apparently, he remembered a talk earlier in the week about death and how we would all die someday and now this talk was keeping him up at night and causing him to cry. Wow.....talk of death at age 4! What brought on this talk and thoughts of death? (I mean, besides my earlier revelation to him) Was it his genius mind thinking things through? Was it something that happened during the day? Was it his Daddy's mission to kill all ants he sees? Or was is simply mass media's attempt to take something like the Digital TV switchover and create the feeling that the world could be ending! Actually, for those addicted to reality TV, yet no cable/satellite/or digital conversion magic box, their world has basically ended. I mean, seriously....without rich men picking from 25 celebrity and money hungry bimbos, thousands of Americans who think they can dance, sing, or chew gum and walk, or celebrities who starred in movies that rank between 300 and 500 on my all time list and are now stuck in a jungle that magically has 42 night-vision cameras, how will the world really go on? But all this brings me to my real point.....we live in a world of 24-hour media coverage through a 1000 different networks and avenues and all they can really do to get noticed is to make the simple thing seem like the end of the world, or at least a reason to visit your local grocery store and buy enough can foods and water to wait out the panic. Phew...glad I had my pork and beans and 4 gallons of water yesterday, it was chaos outside during "the conversion" (which even sounds a little religious/end of times too doesn't it?)

Over the past year, I thought about blogging several times about these "end of times" stories. 2 of our 3 local stations would sign off from the nightly news every night with a second-by-second countdown timer of when the digital TV switch would occur. Talk about chaos, when the deadline was extended by 4 months, those countdown timers had to be reset! But good thing it was extended as 40% of the American population was not ready. Seriously? Not ready? I know the economy is rough and all, but all you need is cable or satellite TV or a freaking toaster oven on your TV that magically switches your picture. DISH has a package for $9.99, you just don't get much (local plus C-Span plus Reality network I assume, the crap channels). And now word is that given a 4 month extension, 35% Americans still weren't ready! So....we were tested with the "end of the world" and 40% weren't ready. Then the TV Gods (and the government) threw us a bone and gave us 4 more months to prepare and only 5% more people took this seriously? I hope we do better when Rapture begins! I'm confused...let's look at another end of times event and see how we fared.

Ahh, the Swine Flu, er, pardon me: H1N1. Even though the Swine Flu was not really only caused by swine and couldn't be transmitted by eating pork, the name change didn't matter, the public was already pigphobic. Great job media, you should be a lawyer. Put something out there and then try to take it back and hope the jury "doesn't consider it". Egypt ordered all 300,000 living hogs in their country be slaughtered immediately? Huh? Well, at least now we have some people taking the end of the world seriously. But Egypt is battle-tested and been through this end of the world stuff before (see Bible for more details) But alas, the media loved this story and went with a different timeline than the World Health Organization (WHO). I know this because yesterday the flu finally was deemed pandemic and the most serious level it can reach. The media didn't cover this as they had already exhausted all the facts and rumors of this story and were on to more important stories (see California paegant news, Conan O'Brien's debut, and the rigged Iranian election). But you have to give it to the media, they had us buying canned foods, water, and masks again to avoid the disease that could "end the world". I wore my son's Darth Vadar mask to school for a solid week! God forbid we actually do some research and see that up to March 31st, the Swine flu had killed 1 American while the regular flu (Influenza A) had killed 13,000 Americans. Yes, that is 13,000 to 1. If that was a football score, you might be an Iowa State fan and might be very depressed. But Influenza A doesn't sell, swine does. Well, not pork, but swine does. And the world went into a panic, schools closed, businesses shuttered, and yes even my church stopped shaking hands at the sign of peace. However, they did keep drinking wine all from the same communal cup. Gotta love Catholics. Friendly handshakes?? No way dude, you could have the flu! Pass me the cup, I need my alcohol before 10 a.m., I mean I need the blood of Christ...I don't care if I am 243rd in line!

As a teacher, I got emails on how to protect myself and my students. I was instructed on how to sanitize tables, chairs, and doorknobs. I was to talk to my students about the importance of cleanliness. Schools and teachers were going to fight this disease using prevention and we will overcome! Hmmm....can you imagine if media would cover STDs to this level and schools were given permission to fight these? 1 in 3 teens has an STD (compared to 1 in 39 million American teens who have the Swine Flu) yet my students are touching doorknobs with rubber gloves in order to open it to leave the building and go have unprotected sex with someone they chatted with on Myspace. What is wrong with this picture? With mass media coverage and current technology, I have twitter and facebook updates telling me of the dangers of a disease that has killed 1,965 people worldwide....in the history of the world! And the students listen to every word and follow the media's instructions. But when it comes to AIDS, STDs, lung cancer, and simple diahrrea (one of the 3 leading causes of death worldwide), I can't convince anyone of the dangers of smoking, drugs by needles, or unprotected sex! These diseases have killed MORE THAN A BILLION WORLDWIDE throughout history! Huh? C'mon media, focus on the real problems! I won't even go into the government handing money left and right to countries and agencies to fight the Swine Flu, yet Bill Gates and Bono seem to be the only rich people that care about the spread of AIDS worldwide.

Anyway, my overall point is that our current 999 channel TVs and the Worldwide Internet plus bloggers like me, need stories to cover and overcover. Unfortunately, good stories don't sell and everything must be made to be the "greatest threat to mankind ever". So, at the age of 31, I have already lived through the Flood of the millenium, blizzard of the century, 1 world pandemic, 3 countries labeled the biggest threat our country has every seen in its history, the 10 best movies of all-time (according to IMDB), the 10 worst white girl abductions from rich American families of all time, and likely whatever story the media decides we all must focus on today. Someday, I will tell my kids that I survived AIDS, Influenza, cancer, the unchanging American public education system and all my grandkids will say is "What was the Swine Flu outbreak like?", "How many terrorists did you kill?", "Did your car ever get bombed?", or "Did you ever meet a big celebrity like Perez Hilton, Spencer Pratt, or Jon and Kate? (bonus points if you know all 3 of those. And with those bonus points you win nothing but another subscription to Us Weekly and National Enquirer).

So, I don't have any solutions except to keep tons of canned goods and water in preparation for the real end of times, watch the final 10 minutes of the national news (only time when positive stories are run), and research every news story to see if it really is a big deal, and by research, I don't mean cnn.com, abc.com, msnbc.com, and fox.com. I mean neutral sites who don't get paid to have you watch their show. Wikipedia is actually decent as universities have now realized; and google searches on the topic aren't bad either. The news stories are serious and deadly and do need covered, but remember that our ancestors did live through 2 World Wars, a REAL flu pandemic, something called the American Revolution, and thousands of years where the average human didn't live past 45. And you think we have it rough and are living through some of the most amazing and horrifying events of all time? Hmmmm.....


Love&Prayers,
Ben

3 Things to leave you with:
1. http://www.snopes.com/ Seriously, if you aren't using this site to verify the facts of some email or internet rumor, you need to. Before you forward an email that claims the Swine Flu is actually developed by terrorists out to hurt the pork industry or that you get $10 from Bill Gates for forwarding a virus, check this site out.

2. If you really don't have any TV to watch b/c the conversion caught you by surprise, get satellite TV for $20 a month. That is $240 a year and can likely be made up by driving the speed limit and not buying items near the cash register (magazines, candy, pop....all nearly 500% overpriced when you compare their online or bulk prices)

3. And if you are still reading, stop reading and read the book "The Energy Bus". http://www.theenergybus.com/ This book has had a big effect on my life and is great for any educator, business person, coach, or leader. I will blog about it in the future, but for now...read it!

Did you ever realize how quickly technology is evolving?

Seriously....did you? Well, before I get into some of the "new" technology I used this past year and some of my favorite forms of technology, let me give you some quick updates:

1. House sold, house bought. Move in date still June 29th and still the house from my last blog.

2. Potty-training Abby this week. Reagan figured Jack did okay with me as his potty teacher, why not let me try Abby. Not going as easy as I would have hoped....she can't seem to pee standing up. Will have to read the manual again.

3. My school-issued laptop is back in my hands and life is good. Hence, why I am writing on technology this week. Also, due to TIME magazine's cover story on Twitter. Okay, here we go....

Seriously, did you ever stop to wonder about how quickly technology is changing? I didn't until TIME magazine's cover story on Twitter, Facebook, and the way we communicate. I have been to workshops and incorporated some cool technology into my classroom, but never really, really sat down to be amazed at how far we have come. Think about it, I am 31 years old and in my lifetime the computer moved out of an Iowa State Labratory and into our homes. In fact, the "green screen" computer that I grew up on is basically still around...its at my Uncle's house! The ol' Apple IIe. Then I started dating Reagan and the Internet was "invented". So, I have been with Reagan for half of my life and the Internet has only been around for the same amount of time. But in that time, computers moved from our desktops to our laps to our watches to our ears to our glasses to our calculators, etc., etc. We won't even get into how my Number Munchers Math game evolved into Halo 3 or "Car-Jack and Kill Innocent People for Fun 9"! Although, I suppose counting your ammo and kills could help math skills some. But since this is supposed to be a blog to help you all catch up on my life, let me tell you about some of my favorite forms of technology I learned or "joined" this past year.

Facebook: Most of you are reading this blog due to Facebook. Why? Well, duh, I posted a link to this blog as my status. My true friends likely went back to read the first 40 blogs that they missed (Hint, hint!). Joining near the end of 2008 changed my life as I now have a way to stay in touch with almost half of my graduating high school class. Okay, that is only about 13, but still that's cool! I also stay in touch with my teaching staff and even some former students. Not current students though....I am not stupid. Facebook may be great, but it does have its downside. Oh, and most of my family is on facebook too, just not my Dad or Mom. But they are easy enough to get a hold of by IM, email, text, or cell phone. More technology....

Internet video: Did you know you can search your favorite websites on an archive site to see what they looked like 5-10 years ago? Check out this version of espn.com from 1999: http://web.archive.org/web/19990420125538/http://espn.go.com/

Yeah, no video. Now, most websites have videos and commercials that pop up. In fact, latest research shows almost 10% of the U.S population watches a majority of their TV on their computer. Sites like hulu.com, youtube.com, and your network sites will play almost every episode of every show you like. For a family like mine with kids, this is great in case we miss our favorite episode of LOST, 24, or "Jon and Kate plus 8 plus paparazzi plus marital problems plus insane lady who doesn't get that money and fame is ruining their lives". My middle school students love days when they come into the classroom and see Youtube up on the wall even if they know I simply found another educational video stuck between "man gets hit in the junk by a bulldog" or "2-year old girl sings the Star Spangled Banner and now has life ruined by Youtube stalkers". On demand video has changed the way we live, but also changed the way we/I teach. I rarely order videos from the AEA anymore as most videos can be found online through sites our school subscribes too!

Two of my students' favorite youtube class videos:

Inspiration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ZuKF3dxCY

research done by ISU professor: http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpEnFwiqdx8

DVR: So, why don't I watch my shows on my little computer screen? Well, that's because we also added DVR to our house. Thank you, DISH network! I heard a lot of people saying "Why would NBC sign Jay Leno to do 5 show a week at 9 o'clock? Why not put shows on at that time?" Well, DVR is your answer. The most watched channel at 9 o'clock in the U.S. is no longer a channel, its a lifestyle. You see, more Americans are watching a DVR'd (or TIVO'd or "tape-recorded"...do they still make VCR and VHS tapes?) show than watching any one network show. Amazing! I thought so until I looked at my life and my wife's life. We watch about 5 network shows, none of those on at 9, but we watch most of our TV from 9-11 p.m., all on DVR and all without commercials. In fact, on good nights, our kids are in bed by 8:20 and we watch our 8 o'clock show from 8:20 to 9:00 by cutting out the 20 minutes of commercials and by 9:00 we are caught up with Live TV. Thinking about catching up to live TV just sounds weird to type, but with kids DVR is a must, simply for the fact that you can pause and rewind to see what you missed during the "I was playing with the plastic measuring cup Daddy gave me as a present first" fight or to rush a kid to the potty before our carpet gets another stain before an open house. Wow...I love my DVR and its going with me to the new house!

Texting: Yes, I did it, I finally got unlimited texting to my phone. Although I resisted at first, being through counseling classes I realized I must be open to all opportunities. I gave myself 2 weeks to attempt to use texting for whatever I could to see if I could find a purpose outside of loud bars or rock concerts. With 2 kids, a decreased alcohol tolerance, and my only concert ever being a Mannheim Steamroller Christmas concert, I needed to find other uses to justify this purchase. Turns out, I like it and have found uses. Maybe not always good ones or ones that have a point, but I did find uses. And I no longer get charged 25 cents when my cool friends/family text me. So I guess this means I luv text mesgs n havn fun doin them win the time is rite! :)

and if you need help with text acronyms: http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php wow.

So, what does this all mean? Well, I never even got to Twitter and that was what TIME magazine wrote about. I really didn't see the point in Twitter until reading the article. They talked about an educational workshop with a big screen. All workshoppers (is that a word?) logged into Twitter and during the conference could Twitter their thoughts and questions as the workshop continued. Like writing notes and questions for all to see. Then those questions and notes were answered or led to new questions. Then people from around the world who were not even at the conference started twittering with those at the workshop after finding this twittering online. Next thing you know, this little workshop had educators from all over the world working together and having a "discussion". This same philosophy is being used in churches, governments, corporations, and yes, even in the college and high school classrooms. Our school may not Tweet yet, but we do Moodle....a whole other story for another day! But what does this really mean? Am I out of a job since my job is all about listening and "being there for another person". Well, yes and no. I need to learn to use this technology both in the classroom and in my counseling. I need to understand the technology and how it can lead to problems in my students' lives (cyber bullying, sexting, YIKES!) But the beauty of counseling is that counseling is most successful face-to-face, human to human. And that is the best way to communicate still this day, face-to-face, human to human. Technology is great and the methods above are fun, but we must remember that humans communicate 80% by body language. Without seeing each other's bodies (almost done...keep mind out of gutter), we cannot truly communicate. With that knowledge and lesson, I will sign off until I connect with you again by blog, email, IM, text, call, Twitter, social network site, etc. :)

Love&Prayers,

Ben

Three things to leave you with:

1. Favorite technologies I hope to experience in the next year: Itouch (getting it later this summer), movie theater systems (in new house), more touch screen tech. in our life. See youtube to see how this will change our future yet again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP5y7yp06n0

2. Favorite current touch screen technology: REDBOX movies. If you are not renting from Redbox kiosks, you are crazy. $1.06 per movie. Quick. Easy. Free and discount codes in case you don't want to spend a $1.06. Simple. Love it.

3. Favorite websites of past year: http://www.pandora.com/ (online radio stations you create yourself. Currently listening to Green Day station), http://www.protrade.com/ (sports stock trading site that is funding my Itouch as a prize I earned), http://www.google.com/ (duh, always my favorite), http://www.rottentomatoes.com/ (movie review site and commonly known as the #1 movie review site online now), http://www.comingsoon.com/ (movie trailer site for people like me who love movie previews but never get to the movies anymore to see them. Check out the preview for "Where the Wild Things Are", my favorite movie trailer of all time!)

"Did we sell the cats too?"

New house "theater room" New house from outside

The summer blogging series is back! I know, all of you had your calendars marked for Memorial Day or even yesterday and were crushed when you couldn't read my blog. Well, I will make it up to you. I plan to blog twice a week this summer and maybe even once a week during the school year! Huh? Are you crazy? Well, yes, actually, but that is besides the point. Most of that is genetic, not my fault! Anyway, I have a lot to catch you up on from the past year, so let's get started....

Almost exactly one year ago today, we put our house on the market with For Sale By Owner. We had eliminated 1/2 of our furniture and crap by sending it on a truck to Western Iowa...man our house looks better now without that stuff! We had cleaned, and I mean deep-cleaned. We even had a garage sale as a way to advertise our house to the masses. We handed out fliers with a finders fee. At that point, we should have alerted to government of the coming recession. See, it didn't dawn on us that only one customer wanted a flier all weekend, yet Jack's underwear, a broken satellite dish, and everything from the "free" box sold. Huh? You want crap, but not this house? What? Well, that was the beginning of what is now called the "Great recession", which is pretty bad, but made worse by media and our new love of thinking everything that happens to us happens to be the worst event in history. (see Flood of the century, hurricane of the century, and the Royals baseball teams of the 1990s) But we waited patiently all summer showing our house here and there. We dropped the price and we hired a realtor and dropped the price again and again. During this time, the leaves turned brilliant colors and we enjoyed nights on our lovely deck by the firepit drinking cheap wine talking about how soon our house would sell. The snow fell....it was winter and 6 months since our house was on the market. The recession was in full swing and the optimism of an Obama presidency couldn't even change matters...it actually got worse! We started to wonder if we would ever sell our house. On top of that, we were thinking of adding a 3rd child and not having much success and I was about to begin my final semester of grad school, my internship, with a very bleak job market and possibly a pay cut! That was when I invented "the circle".
The "circle" was where my life got stuck going around from January to May. Everyday, same old thing. House didn't sell, job opportunities were nowhere to be found, and my internship drug on. Even my internship assignment to log every moment of my life minus my bathroom breaks (although I logged some just to get hours and I sometimes read counseling magazines while there.) and my Internet surfing time (I probably should log that...yikes, that would be scary!) was just logging the same thing day after day.. I told my co-workers that I needed something to break the circle as I was getting dizzy with boredom. I needed change, but being bogged down by OCD tendencies and anxiety, I am not the type of person to go out and break my own circle. I needed something to happen. I couldn't pick a job without knowing where we would find a house and I didn't want to pick a house without knowing about a job. Something had to give. Everyday was getting worse and the idea of the circle was getting in my head. Then, an interesting 6 weeks happened. Our MS counselor got a job in her hometown, I moved into her job, I finished my internship and graduated Drake with my Masters (only Iowa State left to graduate from for Reagan and I), and then we finally got someone to agree to look at our house for the 2nd time.....and he liked it. He put an offer after "flipping a coin" between our house and another and landed on ours. No word on whether we were heads or tails, but I am betting heads, I always bet heads. We didn't feel confident enough to do a counter offer and we didn't want to lose our first offer in 350 days, so we just accepted and high-fived each other. Jack, still being awake, also got excited and high-fived when I told him "We just sold our house!". He cheered and said "YES!". Then looked sad for a little while and said "Did we sell the cats too?". After laughing, I told him no and he relayed the good news to Bo and Jangles. In the week since this event, we have bid back and forth on a house that we loved since last June and landed that house today. So, the circle is officially smashed and I am proceeding along a line towards my future now. But.....was I really in a circle or have I just come full circle? Reagan and I both grew up on farm land on or near rock roads and our house is an acreage on a rock road. We are moving and starting a new job again, just like 7 years ago for Reagan. And at some point, we will have child number 3 and will go through diapers, sleepless nights, and temper tantrums again. Sounds a lot like being in a very large circle. Say...the "Circle of Life"? With all that said, I think the past year may not have been circles after all as it seems everything we did had to be done in order to get to where we are today. Maybe the circles were just in my head??

Anyway, the school year is done, we are moving in less than 4 weeks, and I have a new job and house to prepare for. I plan to keep you posted of all the interesting details of the past year as well as the upcoming summer with these blogs. I also hope to alert you to interesting facts, favorites, and things I like along the way in my final 3 things section. I thank all of you for the prayers, the communication, and the thoughts over the past year and pass all those prayers and thoughts back to you. Take care and enjoy the summer!

Love&Prayers,
Ben

3 things:
1. Best movies I have seen the past year (haven't seen many): The Dark Knight, Slumdog Millionaire (lived up to the hype and then some), and 7 Pounds (not sure why critics hated this one)
2. Best books I have read....okay....only read 2, but they were good: The Last Lecture and Outliers. Both very thought-provoking. The Last Lecture should be read by every person, including every educator. Outliers is simply very interesting.
3. Best website that I learned about: Facebook. I joined late last year and love staying connected with everyone, including most of you. It is addicting, but already a part of our strange and ever-changing culture.