Emuers....
Shakespeare was known to write "comedies", but as we read them they are known as "tragedies" with usually sad, deadly endings. But that's what makes them comedies....bad things and tragedy happening all the time. Think of comedians, you can't be one unless you have gone through hell! You can't get up on stage and say "So I got this promotion today, damn that sucked! Anyway, after I got my raise, I bought a boat and the motor didn't even come free! In addition to that, I had to still pay for life vests because its the law!" Yeah, not funny....but if the guy lost his job and made jokes about his boss and the company he worked for and how he got run over by a boat while walking home on the street....now that's comedy. Well, I feel my first 2 weeks of summer has had some tragedy...I will try to see if it translates to comedy....try to follow...
I was going to make a long story short, but halfway through it was already long so I deleted and started over. I will try to paraphrase things in nice neat headings, but never fear, its still long!
*Apartments: I am currently renting 2. I have 2 deposits down, one for each. I am not doing this b/c I think this is a wise real estate investment. I do understand that you are supposed to buy land and realty and not just rent multiple places. I am doing this because my previous landlord tried to screw me over and make me pay full rent because she says she has to do everything strictly by contract (I gave her 25 days notice, not 30 as it states!). Well, when Dad noticed a small error in her magnificent contract, saying that rent was $255 (actually my old rent, but she said to write it!), and not the $450 that I was paying and showed it to her threatening a lawsuit for $2340, she changed her attitude quickly. Now we will get almost all our money back and she says she will miss us. We dropped the lawsuit....for now.
Washer/Dryers: We own two sets...but again we have neither of these sets in either of our apartments. Sound confusing? It is. We bought our first set USED from the Baptist Mission House. Money goes to the Mission House...we do good right?? Well, after 3 hours of work the same day we are fighting our landlord in imaginary court for peddly thousands of dollars, neither work. We finally get the dryer to work after what sounded like a hubcab blew through the vent and outside, but the washer looked like a strainer. Later, our downstairs neighbor called about a leak coming from her ceiling, we of course, said "Hmmph, don't know what that could be". At this time, we were taking 5 gallon buckets of water off of our laundry room floor full of soapy water! Well, we had to haul the washer back, which meant finding a pickup. After a week, we found one, hauled it back. One week later, Dad came out and brought our "fixed washer" back to the apartment. Again, it leaked as if it got in a old western gun fight. Did I forget to mention during this 2 hour ordeal this time, we received 4.2 inches of rain, 60 mph winds, and one funnel cloud??? Minor details...So I call the guy today, no money back (even though 2 weeks earlier he said we could!), but he can exchange. WE DON'T WANT YOUR WASHERS AND DRYERS!!! Dad hauled them back and I went to Sears. Ibought the cheapest models they had and they will be here on Tuesday. Mom wanted more court action, Dad again wanted compromise. A 15-minute talk later, and magically he has agreed to give us our money back when he sells those models. Two cases won, no court yet.
*The rest of the things: It took 4 days, 3 fried fuses, and one crazy repair man (certifiable!) to get our refrigerator to work. Although I upgraded my cable TV, I actually get less channels...still trying to figure that one out! Our travel agent booked the wrong cruise date and wouldn't let us get OUR date for the same quoted price...she wanted a mere $1200 extra. Again, we settled out of court after talking with Dad (his real name is Vinny, and he has killed goats and cows for smaller crimes than these!). At the end of the day in which we fought with the landlord, the washer/dryer, and the cable company, we flipped on a light switch and the power went out over 2 city blocks for 3 hours! Two of my stocks went bankrupt and two more are on the verge. And last but definitely not least, after purchasing a 2nd washer/dryer set and calling the other guy trying to get my money back 6 times, I decided to use my 2 for 1 Sonic burger coupon to treat myself to burgers and watch the U.S. Open in the peace and quiet of my own hot, humid apartment...one problem, I went through the drive-thru. When I got home, I noticed I received only one burger, not two as I clearly demanded into the goofy clown's mouth! Now, tomorrow I go back and demand to speak to the manager and request one free burger or my money back. If they refuse, I will call my Dad and he will get my burger back for me!
*Now I know I didn't add too much humor in this letter, but think about it: In my first 2 weeks of my summer break that I have dreamed about ever since my first day of teaching I have found out our cruise was misbooked and we owed $1200 more, I have rented and put down a deposit on 2 apartments and threatened small claims court against an old lady, I have purchased 2 washers and 2 dryers and yet still not done a load of laundry since May 20th, I have upgraded my cable so that I pay $7/month more but get less channels, caused a partial city power outage, and I CAN'T EVEN ORDER A STINKIN' BURGER WITHOUT SOME IDIOT INSIDE A LARGE CLOWN SCREWING UP MY ORDER! Now, again I say....that's comedy. Six more weeks of summer to go, I am sure nothing will go wrong with the wedding!???
Love&Prayers,
Ben
